Kyle Pope 1e736eb333 Fix connection accept regression: revert disabled gates, add 409 handling
Previous fix (2139ea8) caused regression: staleTime:0 nuked cache on
every mount, isLoadingIncoming disabled buttons during cold-cache fetch.

Changes:
- Remove staleTime:0 (keep refetchOnMount:'always' for background refresh)
- Revert button gate to pendingRequestIds.has() only (no is_read gate)
- Remove isLoadingIncoming from disabled prop and spinner condition
- Add 409-as-success handling to ConnectionRequestCard (People tab)
- Use axios.isAxiosError() instead of err:any in all 3 catch blocks
- Add markRead() call to 409 branch so notifications clear properly

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 4.6 <noreply@anthropic.com>
2026-03-05 18:23:47 +08:00
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